I'm trying not to lose my head,
Ha Ha Ha Ha.
It's like a jungle sometimes,
It makes me wonder
why on earth anyone would want to sell a car by showing someone as pathetic as me driving it.
One size fits all. Some assembly required. This is not an offer to sell securities. May be too intense for some viewers. If condition persists, see your doctor. Subject to change without notice. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colours may fade. Not the Beatles. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Sign here without admitting guilt. Use only in well-ventilated area. Supersedes all previous notices.
1. complain that the person you wanted to speak to never calls you back;
2. offer to wait on hold until they are free, thereby tying up the phone line;
3. request that I look into the future to determine at what point the unavailable person might be available – unless I volunteer this information, I undoubtedly DO NOT KNOW;
4. verbally abuse me for not being so intimately familiar with the details of your matter that I am able to recall in an instant your surname and telephone number without assistance;
spend more than five minutes blathering on about some entirely unrelated issue;
5. repeatedly badger me to give you legal advice, especially after I have told you that I am not legally permitted to give you such advice, even if I knew what such advice ought to be or if I even gave the tiniest of shits about your manifold problems;
6. attempt to extract a promise from me as to the future behaviour of some third party, e.g. “He definitely has to call me back! You have to get him to call me back!” If you tell me the message is urgent, I will write down that it is urgent. I will not hold a gun to my boss’ head to force him to return your call.