4.30.2010

Payday!

"The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money!"

That's right folks, I got paid today. And oh lordy am I glad of it.
Actually there are lots of things that I find rewarding about my job. But at the end of the day the most rewarding part is being rewarded with cash.

Stretchy McStretcherson

This morning when I got to work, my computer monitor wouldn't turn on.

I unplugged it, replugged it, switched it off, switched it back on, did a little raindance, all to no avail.

Silently it sat there, mocking me with its dark screen and tiny flashing green light - that little light was giving me a false sense of hope. In the depths of despair I failed to realise what this turn of events meant.

It meant that I got a new computer monitor!

In the meantime, I was also able to do my work on the computer in the conference room, which meant I got to experience the thrill of working in an office-type environment, with a door that closed and a comfortable chair. For a desk-dweller like me, it went quite to my head.

Then! Mere hours later, my new monitor arrived. It is shiny and fancy. I was a little intimidated at first, but its obscene newness made coming back to my lowly desk an adventure all of its own - until I realised that the damn thing is so wide, everything on the screen is stretched out to insane proportions.

S e n t e n c e s a p p e a r l i k e t h i s .

It is doing my head in.

4.29.2010

Words I Enjoy

Thrift.

Just the saying of it makes me feel virtuous! I have lately been attempting to plan the week's meals in an attempt to be Thrifty. This week has been moderately successful.

I say 'moderately' because, as previously mentioned, I forgot my lunch today. This means I now have a spare lunch, languishing in the fridge! I have decided that rather than eating it to escape detection as a slatternly forgetful-type person, as I previously planned to do, I will instead save it for tomorrow.

Conveniently, I have not yet assembled the salad that was to be tomorrow's lunch, and the lime-ginger chicken with coriander dressing I made on Tuesday night ended up being a bit delicious and also much more voluminous than the recipe suggested. So Ben can just eat the chicken leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Maybe I'll make him a sandwich, Lady GaGa style. I should point out that in all probability it will not be poisonous.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that this is a fantastic idea. I have already bought all salad ingredients but most will keep and I can repurpose the perishable veggies into panade!

Verily I say unto ye, I am the Goddess of Thrift!

Things That Annoy Me

People who refer to themselves as 'mavens.'

Calling yourself a 'maven' will not make people think you are awesome. It will make them think that you are sad and self-important.

Effortless Perfection: Why We're All Screwed

According to the New York Times, plastic surgery is out! Says Laura Holson:


“It took years for Hollywood to create the perfect woman. Now it wants the old one back.

In small but significant numbers, filmmakers and casting executives are beginning to re-examine Hollywood’s attitude toward breast implants, Botox, collagen-injected lips and all manner of plastic surgery.


Television executives at Fox Broadcasting, for example, say they have begun recruiting more natural looking actors from Australia and Britain because the amply endowed, freakishly young-looking crowd that shows up for auditions in Los Angeles suffers from too much sameness.

“I think everyone either looks like a drag queen or a stripper,” said Marcia Shulman, who oversees casting for Fox’s scripted shows.

Independent casting directors like Mindy Marin, who worked on the Jason Reitman film “Up in the Air,” are urging talent agents to discourage clients from having surgery, particularly older celebrities who, she contends, are losing jobs because their skin is either too taut or swollen with filler. Said Ms. Marin: “What I want to see is real.”

Even extras get the once-over. Sande Alessi, who helped cast the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies, said she offers to photograph actresses in their bathing suits, telling them they can keep the photo for their audition books.


Professional courtesy? Not exactly. Moviemakers prefer actresses with natural breasts for costume dramas and period films. So much so that when the Walt Disney Company recently advertised for extras for the new “Pirates” film, the casting call specified that only women with real breasts need apply. By taking a photograph, Ms. Alessi said, “we don’t have to ask, we will know.”

The move toward “less is more” is being propelled by a series of colliding social and technological trends, more than a dozen film and television professionals said.

Cosmetic enhancements remain popular, with 10 million surgical and nonsurgical procedures performed in the United States in 2009, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. At the same time, the spread of high-definition television — as well as a curious public’s trained eye — has made it easier to spot a celebrity’s badly stitched hairline or botched eyelid lift.

Men, of course, are not immune to the youthful lure of a surgeon’s scalpel. But it is women, to the surprise of no one, who are being scrutinized most closely.

Botox is the enemy in a post-“Avatar,” 3-D infatuated Hollywood, where the ability to crumple a mouth into a frown is as vital as remembering one’s lines. More startling is how young plastic surgery devotees have become. In January, the actress Heidi Montag was on the cover of People magazine touting the 10 cosmetic procedures she received in one day. She is 23.

“The era of ‘I look great because I did this to myself’ has passed,” said Shawn Levy, the director and producer of “Date Night” and the “Night at the Museum” movies. “It is viewed as ridiculous. Ten years ago, actresses had the feeling that they had to get plastic surgery to get the part. Now I think it works against them. To walk into a casting session looking false hurts one’s chances.”
http://community.nytimes.com/comments/www.nytimes.com/2010/04/25/fashion/25natural.html?sort=oldest

Call me a sceptic, but I highly doubt that this ‘return to real’ will coincide with a greater diversity of body types and faces on our screens and in the pages of our magazines.

My major issue with this new ‘turnaround’ trend is that it makes it even harder for women to fit the ideal.

Because when Hollywood execs say, “we don’t want women who have had plastic surgery”, what they really mean is: “we don’t want women who have had VISIBLE plastic surgery”.

In other words, they just want women to be naturally beautiful- without having appeared to have ever tried at all.

This kind of thinking puts the most insidious kind of pressure on women – to be ‘effortlessly perfect’ – e.g. be gorgeous and well-groomed, but don’t spend too much time putting on makeup, because that’s vain and shallow. Be clever, but don’t spend too much time with your head in a book, because that’s boring. Don’t order salad on a date! Chow down on a burger and fries – but don’t you dare get fat.

It comes down to the same ideology behind people who say they want women to ‘age gracefully’, and then hold up as examples people like Meryl Streep, Audrey Hepburn, Susan Sarandon and Helen Mirren (all of whom, by the way, I LOVE!). More power to Meryl, but I think we can all agree she’s starting at a very high base when it comes to the ageing process.

At the very least, an aesthetic which relies on plastic surgery is theoretically attainable for those with the time, money and determination – effortless perfection dooms us all to failure.

I Left My Lunch At Home Today

I have only recently started to take my lunch to work.

So far, I have been pretty consistent about remembering it. So consistent that when Ben forgets his, I am smug and condescending. I nag him about remembering to bring it home the next day. Despite having only been married all of one month, I am clearly settling in quite comfortably to the role of PoliceWife/DomesticShrew.

Clearly, all bets are off now that I have forgotten mine.

In actual fact, what annoys me is not so much the fact that now have to get down off my high horse, but rather the fact that I didn't get to eat my pre-prepared lunch. And I was REALLY looking forward to it.

Obviously, I will never tell Ben about this. Instead I will try to get home before he does and hide my uneaten lunch.

Dagnabbit.