Madame Turbo's Rules For Life

When walking in the city, especially around lunch time on a weekday, hustle. Do not amble. If there are lots of people behind you, and no people in front of you, chances are that every single person walking behind you wants to tase you because you are WALKING TOO SLOWLY.

Jeggings are not a good idea. Stonewashed jeggings are the work of Satan.

If you have an assignment due, NOW is the perfect time to bake a cake.

Don't stand still at the foot/head of an escalator. Don't stand still in the food court. Don't suddenly stop if you're walking down a crowded street (see point 1 for appropriate pedestrian behaviour).

Don't force people to watch scary movies if they are easily scared by scary movies.

To be continued.

I am the most interesting person ever.

Wake up in the morning feeling tired and shitty
Got my glasses, I’m out the door, to catch my bus to the city.
Before I leave, brush my teeth – to protect against plaque,
And if I don’t have time to brush them I’ll just pop a tic-tac.

I’m talking gotta wear pantyhose, hose,
Business casual clothes, clothes,
Answering all the phones, phones,
On hold and hearing some muzak CDs,
Man that music’s crappy,
Starting to get a little bit shitty...

Nonstop, gotta swap
Windows, bring my files up,
Alright, be polite,
‘Til the client sees the light,
Tick tock, punch the clock
But the work it don’t stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

Ain’t got a break the whole day, so I eat my lunch here,
Ain’t got no money in my savings, cause I don’t make much per year,
Now, my in-tray’s piling up cause people think I’ll get through it,
But I doubt I’ll see the bottom unless I set fire to it.


I’m talking about all the fees adding up, up,
Clients gotta pay up front, front,
Gotta chase them if they don’t pay up, up,
Now, now - we goin’ til they kick them out, out
Or till DIAC shut us down, down
DIAC shut us down, down
DIAC shut us -

Nonstop, gotta swap
Windows, bring my files up,
Alright, be polite,
‘Til the client sees the light,
Tick tock, punch the clock
But the work it don’t stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh


Nonstop, gotta swap
Windows, bring my files up,
Alright, be polite,
‘Til the client sees the light,
Tick tock, punch the clock
But the work it don’t stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh


DIAC, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
Gotta queue up,
You got me now
You make me wait
Yea, you got me
DIAC, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
Gotta queue up,
I’m still queued up,
Still all queued up,

No, the visa don’t start until they say so.


Nonstop, gotta swap
Windows, bring my files up,
Alright, be polite,
‘Til the client sees the light,
Tick tock, punch the clock
But the work it don’t stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

[Explanation here]